Can you read my short story, opinions please, I have changed a few things?

yeah the lifeless orbs bit doesn't sound right. you could say something like cold and dark or just cut out the sentence. its a good story although you could just have her appear instead of crashing her car. like ummm he stares into the water and he sees her face next to his. then he turns and she gives him the note.when he looks at it and then looks up again she's gone.