Phobia or something else?

I'm not a physician but it certainly sounds like a serious phobia and one that needs to be addressed because as you said it is affecting your daily life.. There are so many options for counseling these days other than some M>D. Psychiatrist throwing anti-depressants at you and nt much better are Psychologists ( who can not prescribe drugs but ask you :" How do you feel about that" a bazillion times.. You can first start with your family Dr. and ask them to give you some names of clinical social workers or a very specific type of non Doctorate counselor.. They are out there and you should utilize that help because it can really help you get to the bottom of what is happening to you.. Phobias can be managed and this to shall get better if not manageable.. Best to you